Yesterday before i left to town to meet up with my bestie, i finally dared to double click on Douglas's nick in msn. No idea why i did that, but i did that. I still could not understand nor come up with a valid reason why "we" ended just like that. And i could still remember very clearly, we (at least i do) had a very enjoyable time at Sentosa. Okay, maybe not in Sentosa itself cos he practically played volleyball all the way, leaving me alone to rot with JingYang, then Kiam, then Jeffrey. BUT, the bus ride was more than enjoyable, it was, to me, romantic and unforgettable.
At that point of time, with my head resting on his shoulders and his head on my head, i felt blessed and loved cos its been a long long long long time since i am so close to a guy. I thought things would turn out better, especially after going through so much with him. But no, things went totally to the opposite direction. We stopped talking, we stopped msn-ing, we stopped sms-ing, we practically stopped contacting and i bet, he stopped thinking and loving me.
As usual, the-play-hard-to-get-me, decided to see how long it takes for him to talk to me without me talking to him. So as days went by, longer and longer, 1 week passed, 2 weeks passed, 1 month passed, and soon..2 months. Everything ended just like that. I knew it, i knew he had stopped loving me since a long time ago. But i refused to accept it, and i continued to believe in him, believe in myself, believe in love. We drifted, i live in denial, while he continue to look for other preys to tackle on.
The conversation goes like that yesterday :
Me: Hey, not going out?
Him: Later..
Me: Black?
Him: Ya..
Me: As usual..like what's new right?
Him: You not going out?
Me: Soon..going to town.
Him: Go out with your bf?
Me: Yup..meeting my bf..my best friend. hahahha
Him: ....
Then he started telling me about his new ipod and uploading of songs. No idea why but we started talking about more serious stuffs.
Me: I just dont understand you
Him: Nobody can ever understand me
Me: I tried, and i gave up trying
Him: Why do you want to understand me in the first place?
Me: (I wanted to say cos i love you, but i decided not to. So i said..) It doesnt really matter anymore anyway..
Me: Im going out now, bye.
You know, it really hurts to know when he is in love again. With that, i present to you, Christina Milian - It Hurts When. (Just the chorus part)
"It hurts when I thought I had gotten over you
It hurts when together forever won't come true
It hurts when one broken heart is how it ends
'cause it hurts to know that you are in love again"
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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